HarryGuakomoli was bored. It was seven at night, and not a single ass-whupping had transpired; our hero had done his job too well. No one fucked with The Guak's corner. He considered taking the rest of the night off. But then The Guak saw him, crossing the street: an archenemy long thought dispatched. The fearsome, the loathsome, Sasquatch MacGillicuddy.
Harry Guaomoli couldn't believe his eyes: he took care of Sasquatch years before. Rumored to be the offspring of an overzealous big game hunter and a hairless lady Bigfoot, Sasquatch MacGillicuddy was almost seven feet tall, 400 lbs, and shaggy as fuck. But there the brute was, with murder in his eyes and an inferno in his belly, making a beeline towards The Guak.
Harry Guakomoli stood up, dizzy. This was the first time he had been off his ass in three hours, the previous time was to go around the corner to relieve himself in his neighbor's 2009 Range Rover. "Prissy lil' bitch," Guak had muttered to himself as he pissed in the gas tank. So, as you can imagine, dear reader, our hero found himself light-headed.
Harry Guakomoli staggered for a spell before collecting himself and marching to confront his most despicable of foes.
Harry Guakomoli and Sasquatch MacGillicuddy met in the middle of the intersection. One of them would not leave this confrontation alive. Both men were fixing not to become a corpse.
Harry Guakomoli did not see it coming. Saquatch was growling and literally foaming at the mouth. The Guak did not anticipate Sasquatch's opening move: a lightning-quick knee to the scrotum. His archnemesis had used The Great Equalizer, and he had used it well. Our hero doubled over, and this half-man/half-abominable snowman capitalized on the situation by delivering the haymakerest of haymakers.
Harry Guakomoli was in bad shape. His mouth filled with blood, a few teeth knocked out and lying in the street. And, boy, did his nuts hurt.
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