Harry Guakomoli was on a mission to fuck up a cat. He had just broken the face and genitalia of a fellow street-level crime fighter and felt mighty good about doing it. Fucking scum, our hero thought about Travis. I should have done that a long time ago.
The Guak had stolen Travis' canary yellow cab and was hauling ass through The City towards the barrio. The Guak thought that maybe cruising at close to 100mph wasn't the wisest of ideas. It would sure have sucked to be stopped by the cops on the way to confront his once best friend. But the head wound he gave Travis caused blood to smear all over the hood. Attention was already drawn to the cab so fuck it.
The cab's speed allowed our hero to reach the barrio in record time. The Guak cut on to Lemon Street and continued to race, ignoring the traffic lights and stop signs and went crazy with his horn. His apartment building, Oslo The World's Smartest Cat's apartment building, was only half a block away, and The Guak could see a trademark lowrider of Los Fuegos Pollos parked across the street with two gangbangers behind it playing craps. They looked up to see the taxi barreling down on them at full speed. They sprang up and tried to run, but it was too late for the cholos; the cab collided into the back of the lowrider with the pair caught between the two vehicles. The men died immediately upon impact.
The Guak, who was smart enough to have buckled up as he rocketed down the streets of The City, was spared the brunt of the crash due to the cab's safety belt. He quickly unbuckled and exited the Crown Vic. Across the street, in front of the building our hero once called home, stood four more Los Fuegos Pollos staring in disbelief at what just happened to their homeboys. They did not realize it was The Guak who murdered their amigos until he charged towards them. One of them was punched in the throat, his windpipe crushed the second he snapped out of his paralyzing astonishment. Another reached for the semi-automatic pistol tucked into the waistband of his low-hanging jeans. Our hero wrapped one of his mighty mitts around his neck and grabbed a handful of hair with the other. He pulled until the gangbanger's head became separated from the rest of his body. A torrent of blood erupted from his neck. A cholo pointed his pistol at The Guak who countered by hurling the previous victim's head at him. The head connected with El Fuego Pollo's own head which threw off his aim. The barrage of bullets ventilated the other breathing homeboy. Or he was breathing before the bullets tore through his heart. Our hero shortened the gap between him and the gunman in an instant. The Guak grabbed his wrist and stepped behind him, twisting and cracking the Latino man's arm as he did so. Our hero grabbed the other wrist and violently yanked its arm behind him as well. The Guak kicked the gangbanger's legs out from under him, forcing him to his knees. Our hero placed his foot between the gunman's shoulder blades and pushed down while he pulled up and back on his arms until they were torn from their sockets. The cholo wailed like a banshee until he was silenced by a stomp to the back of the neck.
Our hero kicked the severed head down Lemon Street before he bolted up the stoop to the front door. It was locked so he ripped it from its frame. The Guak chucked the door behind him, and he heard it hit a car. He reckoned it was the Camry. Regardless of the vehicle's make and model, the impact of the door hitting it set off the car's alarm. The Guak chuckled and then proceeded up the stairs. The thuds of his march were not as impressive in the cheap Velcro sneakers as they would if he was wearing his shit kickers, but they were still loud enough that The Guak knew Oslo would hear them. Slowly, deliberately, he climbed up the stairs.
The Guak stood in front of the door of the fourth floor apartment he once called home. He knew the door would be locked with a dead bolt, and he knew that wouldn't stop him. He kicked the door hard, causing the frame to split and the door to violently swing open. The impact disconnected the door from its hinges.
Our hero looked in and immediately saw Yo-Yo Ramirez naked as the day is long. A shock of horror swept across her face, and the sexy curvaceous Latina pointed at him.
"¡Mi Dios! El Guako!"
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