Harry Guakomoli bolted up the staircase to exact his revenge on Doktor Maschinemensch. He was burned and bitten. He suffered blows to the head and lost a pinky. He had been drugged and experienced the most messed up dream. And now it was time to teach that crackpot he had fucked with the wrong dude.
Our hero made it to the top and saw the doctor and his mechanical servant about fifteen feet down yet another hallway. The doctor was lying on his back and groaning while the android tried to help its master up. The Guak was surprised to find the crazed old coot still conscious. Shit, he was surprised Maschinemensch was still alive.
The Guak ran up to the pair and landed a blow to the robot's head with his steel-toed shit kicker. Just like the others before it, the head blew up upon impact. The doctor's labcoat was singed in the process. The decapitated robot crumpled and landed on the barely moving doctor. Our hero effortlessly tossed it aside into a bedroom off from the hallway.
The Guak loomed over the doctor who was struggling to get up with little success.
"Stay put," The Guak said coldly as he set one foot on his enemy's chest. "You're going to answer me a question, and I'm satisfied with your answer I might take it easy on you. You get me, Fritz?"
"Ja," Doktor Maschinemensch answered weakly.
"I understand making your robot soldiers to look like your dead waste of space son. As much of a fuck-up as he was, he was still your son, and you loved him. In your twisted way you decided to make him immortal. I get that. Fuck, in a weird way I even respect it. But what's got me puzzled is why you made them so small."
The Guak was not fond of talking. He preferred speaking with his fists and boots and knees and elbows and occasionally his head. But the thought was driving him crazy.
"Vhy have ten Maximllians vhen I can have tventy?"
As much as he hated to admit it, The Guak couldn't fuck with that logic.So he decided not to admit it. Take that doctor!
Our hero was so obsessed with finally confronting his prey he was oblivious to everything, and to everyone else. So distracted was The Guak he did not notice The Amazon's presence until she delivered a diving elbow to the back of his head. The Guak was sent flying. He hurtled a good twenty feet before landing hard on the stone floor.
"Motherfucker..." growled The Guak.
He jumped to his feet and spun around only to have his face met with the bombshell's backhand, and once again out hero was dropped.
"That vas too close for comfort, Ingrid," scolded the doctor. "Herr Guakomoli could have had me caput."
"My apologies, Master," The Amazon responded coldly.
The Guak was on both knees rubbing his cheek. Baby's got some balls, he thought to himself. The Amazon marched towards him and went to deliver a devastating karate chop, but The Guak rolled out of the way and into the adjacent bedroom.
Our hero took a quick scan of the room: a double bed, a nightstand with lamp, and the decapitated deactivated roboMaximillian he had dumped in there just moments before. Four walls and a window. Bare bones. But enough to work with.
He turned around to locate The Amazon who was undoubtedly approaching.She was faster than he predicted, and The Guak took a knee to the kisser. He tasted iron as his mouth filled with blood.
Our hero spit out blood. And a few tooth fragments. If he hadn't lost most of his teeth the night before he surely would have just then. He grabbed the lamp and lunged at his buxom attacker only to have her grab his wrist. The Amazon squeezed tightly, and The Guak heard more than a few bones crack. He released his grip, and the lamp fell to the floor.
"Normally I don't hit girls," The Guak snarled. "But you're not much of a girl anymore are you? You I can smack around."
And then The Guak spewed a load of blood and spit into the face of his former brood mare-to-be. He lamented the fact he would not be able to use the Tijuana knife fight on the lady. The thought of having relations with The Amazon until Doktor Maschinemensch discovered either The Guak was sterile (if Filthy O'Possum was to be believed) or that the offspring of two cyborgs would not be born cyborgs was an awesome one. Women that could kick ass was a turn-on for our hero.
The Guak was jostled from his brief daydream with a thunderous headbutt to the forehead. The Amazon flashed a smile of pure malice before tossing our hero to the center of the room like a rag doll. And a sack of potatoes. A sack of potatoes and rag dolls. The Amazon slowly slinked towards him. Her wicked grin grew. She was toying with her prey. And her prey was becoming aroused.
"You are pathetic," the femme fatale hissed at our hero.
"You were going to let me do all sorts of carnal things to you because some frail little man told you to," The Guak retorted. "Who's the pathetic one, baby doll?"
The Guak was not sure if it was the harsh reality or the sobriquet he bestowed upon her, but The Amazon's cruel grin vanished and her eyes blazed with intensely burning hatred. Play time was over, and it was time for our hero to die. The Amazon sent her fist rocketing towards The Guak's face with the intention of ending his life.
But the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Instead of the intended target of The Guak's already considerably fucked up countenance, the fist of the femme fatale connected with the decapitated non-dwarf's abdomen and out the wee bastard's back. Our hero had suspected by the look on The Amazon's face it was time to deliver the killing blow and grabbed the deactivated roboMaximillian at the last possible second. The Guak hated mixing thinking time with action time , but on occasion it had to be done.
While The Amazon busied herself with removing the motionless android from her forearm our hero sprang to his feet. He wrapped his mighty arms around the waist of his enemy and lunged towards the window. This sent them both crashing through it, and the defenestrated pair plunged towards the cobble stone ground below.
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