Harry Guakomoli had been dead for six months, and La Diabla had fulfilled her promise. The barrio was once again the exclusive territory of Los Fuegos Polos.
Los Fuegos Polos experienced little resistance in their power play; The Guak had cleared the neighborhood of anything resembling an organized criminal organization, whether it be classified as gang, crew, posse, syndicate, ring, or cartel. It was safe to walk the barrio, even in the dead of night. That came to an end after The Guak's death when La Diabla, fresh out of prison, opted to take back what she thought was hers.
The barrio's business proprietors suffered greatly at the invasion; pooling their savings to provide a burial plot for The Guak's non-existent corpse had left them short on the exuberant sums the deadly chola demanded. A destructive demonstration soon followed. La Diabla, while both beautiful and ruthless, lacked the ability to envision the big picture. The business owners had to spend all their money to rebuild their shops, leaving Los Fuegos Polos without racketeering revenue. It took the gang three months to start collecting protection money. This resulted in several challenges to her leadership. While she dispatched all of her rivals with ease, it still sullied her reputation.
The barrio, once a beacon of hope in a sea of desolation, was submerged in a cloak of shadow and desperation. The sole exception was the apartment building on the corner of Poncho Villa Avenue and Lemon Street, the home of Oslo The World's Smartest Cat.
Oslo had stood by and let Los Fuegos Polos retake the barrio. The death of The Guak had cast the former four-legged fury down into a nadir. When La Diabla launched what she dubbed El Relampago Sangriento Oslo sat on the stoop of his newly acquired apartment building and drank himself into a stupor the likes of which he had never experienced before, and let me tell you, gentle reader, this cat had been in some serious stupors. The World's Smartest Cat didn't, and couldn't, lift a paw to prevent the carnage that swept his 'hood.
Yet the building was spared the destruction of El Relampago Sangriento. La Diabla issued an edict that the structure and its inhabitants were not to be touched. The crew leader claimed it was out of respect for her late great adversary, but this was always said with a smirk. No, the real reason was to remind Oslo he was a failure, a drunk that got to live out his pathetic existence only because la chola willed it.
One particularly chilly September night Oslo awoke in the wee hours of the morning on the stoop with a pounding headache and a nasty case of cotton mouth. He slowly dragged himself up the stairs to the fourth floor vomiting a few times along the way. The World's Smartest Cat stumbled into The Guak's apartment. His apartment. He crawled into The Guak's bed. His bed. And nestled up beside the sleeping naked form of Yo-Yo Ramirez.
Yo-Yo had been trying to break The World's Smartest Cat out of his funk for months now but to no avail. But at the least the lovely senorita got to live rent-free in the only safe building in the barrio while he drank himself to death!
"You smell of cerveza y vomito, Senor Gato," Yo-Yo murmured.
"It's because that's what I've been fuckin' lyin' in for the past ten hours, mi cucharacha," retorted Oslo matter-of-factly. "Now go back to sleep."
But sleep would not be something neither The World's Smartest Cat nor the lovely Latina would experience for the remainder of the night. The roar of a car engine followed by a loud crunch of metal smacking into metal. Several obscenities shouted in Spanish followed by gunfire. Then silence.
Both Oslo and Yo-Yo raced to the front window to see the commotion. A yellow taxi rear-ended a candy apple red 1948 Chevy Fleetline lowrider. The cab's driver door was wide open, and the Crown Vic was unoccupied. Pinned between the cab and the lowrider were the lifeless bodies of two members of Los Fuegos Polos, indicated by the crew's black bandanas with red flames. Lying in the street were four more dead gangbangers. One was decapitated and one was missing his arms. But no sign of who committed such acts of brutality.
The pair heard the splintering of wood come from the vicinity of the stoop before the building's front door flew into a Camry. This set off the car alarm. Despite the alarm's blaring The World's Smartest Cat could hear the slow heavy thuds of someone marching up the stairs with determination. Moments later Yo-Yo also heard someone approach.
"Someone's coming, Senor Gato!" exclaimed Senorita Ramirez.
"No shit, stupido," replied Oslo. "Here's the plan in case the muthafucka barges in. I'll be by the door, and you'll stand in the middle of the room in all your exquisitely naked glory. He'll see those killer mams of yours, and that's when I pounce."
"I don't know, Senor Gato. That sounds muy peligroso."
"Now you listen to me, hood rat," Oslo hissed. He had no idea what "muy peligroso" meant, but he knew back sass when he heard it. "This shit bag is killin' muthafuckas and rippin' doors off and now he's comin' this way. Now do what I say or, one way or the other, your free ride comes to an end. You feel me, mamacita?"
"Si, Senor Gato," Yo-Yo replied softly.
The pair took their positions: Oslo beside the door and Yo-Yo in the center of the room. The World's Smartest Cat motioned for the curvaceous Latina to put her hands behind her back and thrust her breasts outward. Yo-Yo complied without protest.
The door to the apartment was kicked open, causing the hinges to break apart. Yo-Yo screamed and pointed to the figure in the doorway.
"Mi Dios! El Guako!"
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